Today is our last day in Hawaii for six months. I feel very, very sad. Silly me, I really did not think that I would feel this way. This is the way that I typically feel in NY, when I am getting on the plane to come back here. The day has alternately been the shortest and has dragged on forever. I know that Keanu feels the same since he is in the bathroom taking pictures of ‘aukai in the tub, his last bath in HI for six months. The entire move, in my mind, was easy and up until now it really has been. Quitting was easy, getting all of our things in order was easy, even figuring out part HI/part NY second grade was easy. But today is very, very hard.
Sometimes we forget how to live our lives. We skate along the surface because it is easier than getting down into it. We function and do the things we are supposed to but we forget how to feel. It is easier not to. Big change, life changing change, rips it all open, exposes every part to the light, breaks your heart into tiny, little pieces so small that there is no way you will ever find them all again. Today my heart is broken. We thought that we would cry in CA, when we were getting on planes headed in separate directions. Really, we are going to cry today.