Today when my Mom got home from work I decided to go for a run. Short three miles or so. Originally I thought that she would stay home but she didn’t. That left my 41 year old sister and 6 year old son in the house for approximately 30 minutes alone. Although I should have been completely comfortable with this. I was not. This makes me feel like a bad person. My relationship with my sister always makes me feel like a bad person. My sister is loving and wonderful. She works at McDonald’s and takes the bus there twice a week. She enjoys bowling and going to dances with her “group.” If you met my sister you would guess that she was much younger than her 41 years. She is good natured and is really happy to have us here. We three have spent the better part of the last few days together.
She does almost everything on her own and for herself. I would give you a label for her but I don’t have one. She is just herself. She lives with my mother now and will ultimately live with me. That is why I love that she and my son, so far, have been getting on fantastically. She has played Life with him on her computer, lent him crayons & construction paper and given him advice on what kind of sad picture he should draw for his Dad. We had veggie dogs for lunch today and she asked me what kind of hotdogs they were. When I told her that they were vegetarian she said, “they taste like an inner tube.” She lives her life to the fullest.
While she is very self-sufficient and responsible, earlier this year she developed a cut on her finger which quickly turned into a serious infection. She tried to deal with it herself with bandaids (and hid it from our Mom) but ultimately ended up in the hospital for a couple of days with an IV of antibiotics. She almost lost part of her finger. And this is what I am thinking of as I run away from the house. This incident, the only one of its kind. And maybe it is mostly thinking of my son. He is rascal and clever. She might allow him to do something that I never would. I envision digits chopped off with Mom’s sharp knives as he helps her make a salad, rescue vehicles, lights flashing parked in front of the house. Of course none of these things happen. Everyone is fine. Except me, I just feel like a bad person. And I ran the fasted 3 miles I have run in an extremely long time.