Trying Not to Think to Think About It

I have been living in NY for almost two weeks now. It has been
interesting to say the least. I am one of those people who don’t really think
about all of the ramifications of my decisions before I actually do them. Maybe
if I did I wouldn’t do them. Keanu, my significant other, is the complete
opposite. He analyzes the aspects of things and thinks about the affects;
considers how it will be. He told me all of these things before I moved into my
Mom’s house; all of these predictions of what life would be life. He reminded
me that everyone goes to bed super early. He reminded me that I would have
absolutely zero personal space. He told me that I would never be able to watch
TV again. He agonized that the move would be really difficult for our family.
He said that he would be really lonely. He was afraid that our son would be
super sad. Knowing me, I likely pshawed a lot of these concerns, mostly because
I always think that I am right. So here and now, at the two week mark, I would
just like to say that he has been 100% correct.

Although our son is still sad, he stopped randomly crying in the middle
of the day. Believe me that was really, really difficult to deal with. Do I
comfort him? Or just sit down with him and have a good cry myself, tough call.
I have no personal space and I feel like my Mom wants me to just be with her
all the time; no that’s not it…she wants to be included in everything. She has
this weird perspective that everyone is practicing ageism on her. Like if I
don’t ask her along it is because she is 68. Of course if I don’t ask her along
it is because I just need some alone time and it probably has nothing to do
with her. This entire setup is new to us because usually when we come we stay
at my friend Joe’s house (like we usually do when we visit). He lives up the
road. He has a lot of channels, a giant TV and his house has wifi. The problem
with potentially staying with him is that I felt like my Mom would feel
cheated. She wants to wake up with us and have breakfast with us and coffee but
before now she was always denied. Joe offered to let us stay there now but I
can’t do that to my Mom and it doesn’t make sense when we are trying to achieve
the goal of total family saturation.

I worry about Keanu. It is the first time in his whole life that he has
been alone. I was thinking that it would be a good thing for him; a learning
and growing experience. But now I am just worried that the reason he has never
lived alone is because he is not good at alone. Since it has only been two
weeks I hope that he is able to learn to more than tolerate this life. I hope
that he can see the good in it for him and for us because I know that when we
return we will all be stronger. Plus my son and I have been practicing our run
into your loved one’s arms at the airport hug scene. Seriously, we do this in
slow motion at least once a day. We will be really good at it come November.
Keanu had better start practicing.

About nematomorph

Living like the rich and famous, splitting time between Hawaii and New York.
This entry was posted in Hawaii, New York and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Trying Not to Think to Think About It

  1. lariyasui says:

    It’s a tradition every summer for Granma Lari to take Jensen and Madi to bon dances. Now that Noakai comes in the summer he comes along too. Now baby Allysen will join us.

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