Bugs: NY v. HI

It is summer in NY and there are a lot of bugs around. Most do not
bother me in any way and, compared to some of the over-the-top guys in Hawaii,
do not warrant mentioning. I thought that as the summer wears on I would do a
comparison of the HI v. NY bugs. So here for your enjoyment is round one where
NY and HI insects will be vying for the title of grossest bug:

OK, well NY does have the earwig, which despite the fact it will not
live in your ear, is really really gross. I swear that it has these pincers on
both its front and back ends. And lucky for me it is a banner earwig year. The
other day, Joe went outside and there were like a million of them drowned in
the two inches of water in his recycling bucket. We think that there was some
sort of ceremony and they were all dancing on the rim and jumped at once. I
have found them on my clothes in the closet and there is a dead one in my
drawer that I can’t seem to deal with. Then there is the camel cricket. In some
ways it is oddly beautiful, striped in a beetlejuice silvery-grayish whitish
way. The problem is that it is pretty large for a cricket. Large like if you
squished it, there would be a lot of stuff. That is my squishing bug criteria,
ant, yes I feel badly but I can do it. However, something large with all of
those insides, well, you might as well be squishing a gecko. Yuck! The color of
these really large crickets is reminiscent of viscera. Now, I generally do not
encounter viscera in my day to day life, however, when you live in the country
there is a lot of wildlife. This means that there is also a lot of wildlife
which has been hit by a car and is dead on the side of the road. The other day
when I was running I came up this little rise in the road and there at the top
were the smeared remains of something and an actual organ lying in the road. It
was small and round. I did not investigate but the shiny quivery surface of
that thing is what I think a camel cricket feels like. I know that this is
likely not the case. It probably has an exoskeleton but that color is very,
well, visceral-like.  Blech!  There was one in the closet the other day and
although my sister offered to squish it (NO!) I said no and then it disappeared.
I am certain it is lurking in my underwear drawer. NY’s entrant is the camel

Despite all of this, I would rather be placed in giant box full of
camel crickets (ala Fear Factor) than have to deal with one B-52 cockroach. The
legendary giant flying roach of Hawaii. They are truly the most disgusting things
ever. It is not only that they are big and they are brown and they fly; they
tend to fly directly at your head. It is like they know how gross they are and they
know that if they fly at your head they will win. They are usually correct. The
best way to deal with a giant roach is to whack it with a slipper (known as a
flip-flop in these parts). Of course than it is smeared all over whatever you
whacked it on and the bottom of your slipper. Then there is the added fact that
it may not actually be dead. My first experience with one was that after I
whacked it and put it in the trash, it made its way to the top of the can a
while later and was like, “what’s up?” You need to throw those suckers outside,
far from your door. HI’s entrant is the B-52.

What can I say? Hands down Hawaii wins this round. One of the first
nights I was here we were at Joe’s house and Chrissie said “ugh big bug.” I of
course expected a bomber but it was a giant moth. It made me laugh. Moth, no
problem, it’s those bombers you gotta watch out for.

About nematomorph

Living like the rich and famous, splitting time between Hawaii and New York.
This entry was posted in Hawaii, New York and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Bugs: NY v. HI

  1. mauka-makai says:

    I self trained in B-52 erradication. Course, my ridding the earth of one 10 of these a week did in no way affect their overall numbers or their scheme to take over the world. Add to rubbah slippah arsenal, squirt of fantastic (or windex, whatever), and foil (to aid in disposal).

  2. Jess says:

    Camel crickets! That’s what those things are?! I’d never seen them before, but have been inundated this summer. Luckily my cats get to them before I do, so I’m just cleaning up the carcass, not doing any whacking! I don’t need to know what any more of ur contestants are. Worst, most nasty, digustingest (yes, that’s a word) bug EVER on the face of the earth…silverfish! I’m getting the heeby jeebies just writing about them. Nightmares I tell you… Nightmares! Sorry, longest comment.

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