I’m Taking What They’re Giving

Today was just a bad day. I had a migraine last night. Well, my kind of
migraine. I seem to get all the symptoms before and all the symptoms after but
usually not the excruciating pain in between. Last night while was watching D’Onofrio
on Netflix (thanks Joe!) I started to feel like I couldn’t see. Then I tried to
convince myself that I really could see, that I was just imagining it. After I
while the lights spread to the periphery of my vision, flashing in zig zag
lines. It is enough to make me want to puke. I continued pretending that it
wasn’t happening. I tried some Gatorade but the amount we had was miniscule (sometimes I think that Gatorade makes the lines stop). I remember the first time this
happened to me. I was at Borders closing and it freaked me out so much I went
to the doctor. I told him my symptoms and that I had gone out drinking the
night before, ran a long run and not had enough water. He told me that my brain
was shriveled up in my head. He said I was dehydrated. Given how easy it would
be to avoid this problem ever again it is embarrassing that it is still
happening to me. That being said, I would like to blame last night’s incident
on, what I’m sure was, copious amounts of MSG in my extremely yummy Chinese food
that I had for dinner. After being all flashy flashy for a while, I decided
that I should take medication to combat the after affects since I had to work
today at 11:00. I actually took one of those migraine Excedrin tablets Keanu
has been trying to get me to take forever. I figured that maybe it would lessen
the desire to lay about in the dark all day today. And I think it may have. I
did not feel good today but I did not feel awful today. I describe how my brain
felt all day today as quivering. That is what it feels like. Like jello.

All day at work I felt grumpy and ineffective. I felt like I could not
do anything right and I couldn’t think straight. In short, I couldn’t wait to
leave. That makes me feel like a bad person. I hardly work. Seriously. I should
be able to get my shit together for five hours. Then as if my entire day wasn’t
just blah, my Mom is chatting with the 17 year old deck hands outside the
office asking if they know me when she comes to fetch me. We have a meeting
point. Ugh! I felt like I was 17 too. Feeling so utterly embarrassed made me
feel even worse. The thought that the 17 year olds likely had more personal
freedom and space than I do at this moment is depressing.

The brief and oddly satisfying bit of news that made this day not a
complete loser was the fact that the school district I applied to for a job at (which
seemed as if it was written for me) actually called me for an interview today.
That is a job I applied to like an adult with a resume and a cover letter. They
want to interview me (of course the day they want to do this I am working 8
hours at the marina). Interview me, like in work clothes (curse you blue polo
shirt). It is all very exciting and adult. Maybe I can get my Mom to drop me
off for the interview on the day they want to see me. Or not.

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About nematomorph

Living like the rich and famous, splitting time between Hawaii and New York.
This entry was posted in New York and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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