Holiday Denial

Here in Hawaii, they ship the Christmas trees in. Well, let me rephrase that. They ship in the pine trees, the ones that smell like Christmas. We have a local variety Norfolk pine that grows tall and thin and doesn’t smell at all. For a long time we had a fake Martha Stewart tree. When we weren’t using it we stuffed it into our storage space. About a year ago we decided to get rid of the storage space. Storage space is the biggest scam out there. You think you need to store this stuff. Stuff that you don’t care about enough to actually keep with you. So you put if offsite and rapidly forget what is there and pay rent on stuff that you could probably do without. You end up paying so much rent that you could buy all new stuff to replace the stuff that you stored in the first place. That was where we were when we got rid of our storage space. Unfortunately there was absolutely no place at all to put that fake tree in our teeny apartment. We tried selling it on Craigslist along with a loveseat, futon and train table but no one made an offer. I tried giving it away on Craigslist but no one wanted it. I tried taking it to the Salvation Army and even they turned it down. I think that we ended up putting it out in front of our house and someone took it away. That happens a lot in our neighborhood. We put out our recyclables last week and they were gone when we came home. They were sorted and everything. I’m all for it.

For the past couple of years we have had a real tree. I love the real tree despite the environmental disaster it is here in Hawaii. The problem is that only so many trees get brought in and some of the containers of trees are sent back due to foreign pests. This means that some years if you don’t have your tree by like the first weekend in December, you are shit out of luck. I hate that. I need time in between Thanksgiving and Christmas before I am ready to be all in. We did everything right with our tree last year and still it was a complete fire hazard well before Christmas day. It made me so nervous that it was out of our place the day after Christmas. Today is December 14th and we have no tree. I feel surprisingly calm about this. We are planning on heading to Ala Moana tomorrow after work and school. We may check out the tree scene there.

I did find a local tree farm way out in Wahiawa that grows Norfolk trees. They cut them down for you and supposedly a new tree grows from the stump that is left behind. Also, the trees seem to cost about half of what the regular pines cost. Of course, driving on the freeway with a six foot tree tied to my car is rather unappealing but it could happen especially if I have no other options. So tomorrow begins the great Christmas tree hunt here in Hawaii. Maybe by the weekend it will look like we are actually celebrating a holiday and maybe it will help us to feel like we want to be celebrating a holiday.

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About nematomorph

Living like the rich and famous, splitting time between Hawaii and New York.
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2 Responses to Holiday Denial

  1. mauka-makai says:

    You said “there” to mean here.

    “Storage space is the biggest scam out there.”

    You are either still partially in the north fork or you are talking to the north forkers! I find it linguistically interesting.

  2. RobynT says:

    i had heard that fake trees were “greener” than real too but i recently heard the opposite. this person was talking about all the crap that goes into producing artificial trees, like i guess hazards of producing plastics? also talked about how artificial trees are made in china vs. real ones which are usually grown in u.s. this person i think worked for a tree farm or something and admitted he was spouting company lines, but i thought it was interesting anyway.

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