It is interesting being back at work and talking to people to who read my blog. Sometimes I will be relaying something that happened to me when I was in NY and they will be like, yeah, I read your blog, I know. It is a bit disconcerting and can be a real conversation stopper. Despite this, it really is great to see people who either did not know that I was coming back or they did not know that I was in the building already. I don’t think that there has been a day this week when I was not hugging people at work. I don’t know when I became a hugger but I totally am. Is it a Hawaii thing? I am not really even sure.
I happened to run into one of my favorite folks from another floor yesterday. She is one of the coolest and fashion forward people around. It was really good to see her. She opened with the fact that she had been following my blog and really liked hearing about my six month journey and that she was on her own six month journey. Then she told me that she had been diagnosed with colon cancer. I have to admit that it completely jarred me. For me anyway, all of the dealings that I have had with this awful disease have been removed, away, virtual even. My Aunt in NY suffered through breast cancer a few years ago and a friend’s husband is currently battling pancreatic cancer. My mind is there for them; my heart for sure but not my eyes, me, my physical self. It makes a difference. So there I was, my whole self, in front of this person with cancer. She was there; she was at work. She showed us her pump that delivers chemotherapy to her throughout the day. It was all very, very real. I am unsure if I said the right things to her, had the right words. I just was completely blown away by her demeanor and concreteness. I can only hope that that my admiration and respect for her came across somehow.
Then we started talking about my blog. She was so animated and talked about the people in my life as if she knew them. She had questions about the characters; she had opinions. It was fun; like my life was an interesting story. She told me that I was a good writer. I felt like I had a fan and it was really nice to have a compliment like that from someone who works with real writers. After our meeting, I just kept thinking about her; thinking that this encounter made me want to do something; something to get rid of cancer. I know that just sounds silly but I thought that I wanted to join the walks; help raise funds; support finding the cure. I am not sure what that means for me but I am feeling motivated. I am going to keep a lookout for something; something that I can do. In the meantime, my background vigil continues. I just hope that my heart is loud enough.