My job has been sucking me dry lately. I have to admit that part of it is my own fault. I tend to get too emotionally involved. I am passionate. I can’t help it. The bad part about being like this is that I often leave meetings feeling completely drained. It doesn’t help when people find it difficult to be civil to me due to my professional affiliation. I hate that. I’m a nice person. And, more than likely, the folks who think they find me difficult to stomach, have more in common with me than they would even care to consider. I have likened to how I feel at the end of some of my days to having my head in one of those mandolins used for slicing vegetables. Picture my head as the onion and a bit gets shaved off every time. Yes, like that.
I try not to be like everyone else in these situations. I try to take the high road. I try to be pleasant to everyone. Not to be too judgmental. Sometimes though, it is nearly impossible. Truth be told, I am more Hawaii than NY when it comes to personality. I am confrontation averse. Fight or flight? I am flighting. It makes me ill suited for some of the situations I find myself in. I have tried to remove myself from them but I keep getting sucked back in.
I was talking to my favorite ex-executive today and explaining my schedule. About how after coming home, I end up cooking dinner, making sure the 7 year olds’ homework is done, he is bathed, does his Kumon and practices ukulele. Usually this gets me to about 9:00 p.m. and that is when I try to get some sort of workout in, either Insanity or P90X. He recommended I try to outsource some of my duties. It was funny but clearly demonstrates what I know; that the “me” time is virtually non-existent. Truth be told, I am really not complaining. I love spending time with the 7 year old more than I could ever imagine. He literally makes my day on a daily basis. Despite this, even I know that things are a bit out of whack right now and all the 7 year old hugs in the world won’t change it. Really it is up to me but lately, I just don’t have the energy.