I have been thinking about family a bit lately. It helps that tomorrow is my Mom’s 70th birthday. I spoke to her today. She recently returned from North Carolina where she had driven down to pick up her new puppy. She had run three miles today and hula hooped for 20 minutes. Tomorrow she is planning on biking and hula hooping. Like me, she is not good at lying about, napping, watching TV for long periods of time, or relaxing. I’m OK ith that and I think that she is too.
After I talked to my mom today on the phone I talked to my sister who lives with my mom. She is a couple of years younger than me. She lives to the fullest extent of her capabilities but will always need some kind of looking after and someday, that responsibility will fall to me. I asked her today what she had gotten our mom for her 70th birthday tomorrow. Now, generally speaking she has a good excuse, for not getting things- she can’t get to the store. And that is a good excuse. Thing is, she was at Target yesterday. She was at Target yesterday and she bought books for herself and then didn’t have any money left so she didn’t get our mom anything. It didn’t occur to her to not get her stuff and instead get something for mom. I admit that I have a hard time with this. She does this often and I can’t understand it. And it really irritated me today. Maybe because I feel like, I won’t be there tomorrow and my sister is supposed to represent. We go to NY shortly and I am planning a surprise party for my mom. But of course, I should have made sure that my sister had the day under control. I didn’t think it too much to ask but I guess it was.
Yesterday I had a conversation with someone who talked about the family that you are born with and the family that you choose. She told me that she really did not have many living relatives at this point in her life. She said that through this blog and other social media, she had adopted my family as her own. I was, and am, really touched. How great is that? To be adopted as someone else’s’ family. I am honored. I told her that she should go visit my mom, as an honorary family member. To, you know, get to know the rest of the relations. Maybe she could give my sister a good talking to while she is there. Give her a lesson on the dos and don’ts when it comes to 70th birthdays; explain the milestone of that number, even if we all find it hard to believe. To let her know that there are responsibilities and expectations as part of a family and that sometimes we have to go without for the people we love.