For my entire life, all forty plus years of it, I have been pretty secure in my sexuality. Early on I knew that really, I just liked boys, and I felt that there was little to no wiggle room in that. Back in my formative years on Long Island, well, everyone was heterosexual (I know, just try not to laugh). Because of that, I didn’t meet my first openly gay person till I joined the Peace Corps and moved to Thailand. I remember when my fellow volunteer and closest neighbor came out to me. I had known in my heart for a while (girlfriend pictures tend to give it away) but it still managed to sort of surprise me.
Even if you are heterosexual, every once in a while, you meet someone of the same sex who you sort of crush on. I’ve had about three of these crushes on women who I met at completely different times in my life. They look nothing alike but share a certain joie de vivre. They are tall and short. Fat and thin. They are intelligent, funny and fiercely loyal. I know that talk of girl crushes brings to mind hot girl on girl action for a lot of men. Because really, that is why straight men think that what lesbians do is OK (& can I watch? And maybe join in?) but what gay men do is something not to even think about (get over it). And while I am not saying that a physical relationship is something that I truly considered in any real way with these women…well let’s leave it at that. I would, however, like to include a recent picture of my friend, affectionately known to me as “the delicate flower”.
This brings me to my weird girl-crush on dekalb market denizen, baker and mom, Allison Robicelli. Or maybe I am crushing on her cupcakes which are lovingly photographed and posted on her blog which allowed me to drool over them for over a year. And yes, I was in NY for six months last year but I never made it to actually eat a Robicelli cupcake. Lame? Yes. Two hours one way? Yes.
So now I am headed back to NY for about two weeks. I had already put the request in to my best friend and NYC tour guide that I had to go to dekalb market, I had to have a Robicelli cupcake. I had to finally meet/eat my crush. Then, Allison (yeah, it’s like I know her) blogged that she was going to be at a local North Fork winery the Sunday after my family and I arrive at JFK. I was so excited that I emailed the winery to find out the particulars. I may have been the first person to register. I registered myself and everyone I am going home to visit, like almost ten of us.
I am afraid that I will make a fool of myself when I attend this event. I may shriek like a little girl when I see Allison. I am sure there will be photos. I am sure I will eat cupcakes. There may be wine. I am so excited. The culmination of my latest girl crush.