Why They Come

 

I just sat through a slide presentation from my 13 year old son arguing why I should allow him to play “M” rated games like Mafia and Watchdogs. He took the time to answer some questions that I had posed to him. He did not include the fact that I have taken him to “R” rated movies pretty recently (The Shape of Water) which is a really good argument in his favor. He really should have brought that up. I remain as yet, undecided as to whether or not I should let him play them. I feel like I will likely say yes to the least worst, which, of course, I am, in no position to determine.

We did watch the Superbowl today. My son has certain food expectations for viewing the big game. These include wings, mozzarella sticks and he requested seven layer dip. I accommodated it since generally, we like those things too. Although the mozzarella sticks that you buy in the frozen section of the supermarket pale in comparison to the ones you get in a restaurant. And it was a really great game. I had no skin in it but I always like an underdog so, yay Eagles.

And part of my day, prior to the big game, I spent trying to catch up on This Is Us. I have found that I have difficulty maintaining loyalty for many television shows. I like them for a while. I kind of care about the characters but then something happens and there’s not enough for me any more.  Take The Walking Dead. I understand the zombie apocalypse and all that but for me, Glenn was the last straw. The fake death time, under the dumpster, I was really upset. I was really crying. But then he came back. But ever since the real death, I just don’t have the same connection with the show. I try. I try to care about Glenn’s baby and Maggie but, well, it’s just not there.

The running joke in my family is that they come in and ask me if I have started crying yet when I am watching This Is Us. I can’t help it but I cry every time. And often, it is a thing that I did not know, or consider or contemplate that does it. The episode tonight was the big Jack death reveal. That is no secret. We have known for some time that Jack is no longer alive. There were hints about the fire. And it was really sad because it did not happen the way that I thought it would. But that was not the part that made me cry. It was the part about Tess, Randall’s oldest daughter. And I won’t go into it but, it got me all choked up. And, can I just say for a moment, Jimmy Fallon had the This Is Us cast on his show for like five seconds. What was the point?

My significant other has taken to ghost watching the show with me. He moved to the couch at some point where I could not see him. I’m not sure if it was because he was crying or if he just wanted to eat tortilla chips. Maybe both. He talked to his dad earlier in the day. He was getting ready to watch the game too. I got the feeling that the whole This Is Us storyline hit a nerve today. The nerve that says that we are all temporary. Fleeting. And age is a thing but it’s not the only thing. We say the platitudes all the time but mostly try to live our lives as if it’s not, fleeting. Temporary.

I had some people over Saturday night. Our place is small. We don’t have parking. We cleaned up but only somewhat. I cooked but only a little. And I realized that the reason they come is for the company. The connections. The conversations. That is why they come. I can feel my connections now. They are stretching and contracting like some kind of giant rubber band. I am trying to make them stretch enough. I only hope that they are strong enough to withstand it all.

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About nematomorph

Living like the rich and famous, splitting time between Hawaii and New York.
This entry was posted in family, fear, friendship, Parenting, Relationships, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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