Bad Parenting

We live in NY. We moved to NY from HI. My son started High School in a new school in NY. His graduating 8th grade class consisted of 18 kids. His graduating class in his new school stands at 95 right now. We were supposed to visit Columbia University for a day today. I had gotten him to reluctantly choose classes. I was planning on driving to the train station. And then we would get a train to the city. And then take the subway. It was totally doable and we were going to do it. But by the end of the day yesterday I just felt like I did not want to do it. The whole thing. The whole being in charge thing. But I was going to and I was going to and then. I wasn’t.

My son really was not into it. I bribed him to get him to pick classes. I feel like we are behind. I don’t know if it is Hawaii or if it is his old school but I feel like there has never been a discussion about college. Maybe it is us. Maybe it is me as a parent. Maybe I should have been doing more. But I feel like we are behind when it comes to college considerations. So we really should have visited Columbia today. We should have gone into the city so he could have a college experience. But I just couldn’t do it. Organize, plan, figure it all out. Be the adult. So we played hooky from Columbia. I feel like that we should not have. I wonder what that teaches him about responsibility and doing what you say you are going to do.

I told him that if we did not go, he would owe me another in the future. He agreed to that. I also said that we had to have a mother son day. He agreed to that too. And we had a really great day. Before mother-sonning, I went on a short walk with my friend Mary and her dog Lucy. We went down by the waterfront where the tide had clearly come up a bit high during yesterday’s storm.

My son and I started out our day by picking up some local eggs at one of the farms. The guy who was manning the food truck told us about how they made their own scrapple and then we had a discussion about being from Hawaii. Because, scrapple is spam-like. And of course the owner’s son goes to my son’s High School. Because that is how it works here. It is a small town.

Then we went to the toy store in the next town to get a mask for my son and his friend for Halloween. His friend is new to the school as well and is from Sri Lanka. Being from Sri Lanka, he has never trick or treated before. My son is going to accompany him on Halloween. They don’t really want to dress up. They just want the trick or treat experience. We were able to find two masks that were cheap enough to purchase two. So they are good to go. We also stopped at my mom’s favorite candy shop and got something for us and my mom and sister.

We went to the next two towns and picked up lunch for the both of us (two separate stops naturally). We were planning on going to eat at the park in Orient at the end of the island but after the Nor’easter that came through yesterday, the park was closed due to storm damage. Instead we ate out of the back of my car where the ferries to CT leave.

We stopped at my mom’s house on the way back where she was plying her puppy with peanut butter on her grooming table. She took us around to the front of her house and showed us a tree branch that had come down that was resting on the electrical wires. She told us she thought that she could just get on her ladder and get it down. She said that she thought she could do it. I pointed out that her friend’s husband had been badly injured when he fell off a ladder. I told her that sometimes I thought that I could be a trapeze artist but that didn’t mean I could do it. She called me a coward. In the end she agreed to call the power company about the branch.

We then stopped at my friend Joe’s house. He was able to open a container of oregano for me. I honestly could not get the cap off. He had to use one of those silicone things to do it so I didn’t feel that bad about it. We sprawled out on his couch and watched QVC for a bit while chatting. We left with two homemade chocolate chip donuts and a loaf of bread. I am spoiled.

When we got home, I took a walk in the woods. It is barely wild. It is surrounded by homes and a road, this small preserve. It borders the property that we live on and most of the time I can see houses through the trees. All of this does not make it any less walk-in-the-woods scary for me. I hear things moving around and see Leatherface in my mind. It is a squirrel. I see a discarded Bud Light can and worry that a bunch of drunken teens are harbored somewhere. I am alone. And that is scary. It seems that any place can be a place of violence these days. And while I don’t want to live in fear, I don’t want to not use common sense. I just want to walk in the woods. For just a little peace to end the day.

About nematomorph

Living like the rich and famous, splitting time between Hawaii and New York.
This entry was posted in family, fear, friendship, Hawaii, New York, Parenting, patience, Relationships, Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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