It was a walking kind of day.
I walked with my mom. We trespassed down the road of the currently empty property next door. There were two deer laying down in the woods. The female got spooked and stood to run. The male, sporting antlers, did not move at all. He eyed us leerily until we moved on. My mom told me that I should talk to her. This is still a thing that is more difficult than it should be for me. I told him that my son, since turning 16 years old, is going to start learning how to do different things at work. Like fry french fries. And cook burger. That was about all I could muster.
I walked with Joe. We went into the town closest to him and my mom. I do not think that I went there in 2020 at all. We did not go inside any stores but just strolled around outside. Went by the fancy tea place but they are closed till spring. One of the restaurants seems to be building a large outdoor deck, no doubt in preparation for outdoor eating resuming in the spring. The marina has two buoys at the entrance to the harbor saying that it is closed. The only boats around were the ferries running to Shelter Island. The only people not wearing masks were seated outdoors eating. My nose was running freely under mine.
I walked with Joe and Mary. We went to the Audubon Society trail. There was someone with a really large pickup parked in the bow hunting spot. I have no doubt someone was bow hunting. We passed families. And a group of hipsters ended up following us on the way out. Perhaps not the best choice as we traipsed through mud (Mary’s shoes did not like that) and ended up having to walk on the main road to get back to the parking lot. On the main road, the people driving all seemed to be leaning their vehicles in towards us. Maybe it was our mask wearing that diverted their attention.
I walked with my son. I made him walk with me in the preserve that borders the far edge of the farm. He did not want to come but he did. I have that- I don’t feel safe as a female walking alone in the woods thing- even though it is ridiculously safe. There was a group of young boys at the end of the wooden walkway that extends into the marsh, about halfway through the walk. We just kept walking. My son cut back through the property and took a wide berth around the barn because there were people out there. Then he complained that I just did what I wanted and that he did not want to walk with me any more. I told him that I took the route that I wanted to take.
It was nice to do different things. To be different places. With different combinations of people. I am not one for resolutions but I am trying to invoke Bigmouth’s Gratitoad. Trying to be grateful for what I have right now. Today. To not worry about all of the what ifs. It is not an easy thing. I’ve succeeded for the entire year so far. We’ll see how it goes.