It was a day today. It started out poorly. My mom was calling at seven a.m. Much too early for her so I knew it would not be good. And it wasn’t. One of her dogs that had been at the vet the previous day was having trouble walking. From there it was a stroll down panic boulevard. She told me that she didn’t know when she would get to the store to prepare for the storm (we are getting snow on Saturday). I told her she had plenty of time. She told me that by the time she got there “there would be no food left.” It took me a bit but I was able to calm her down. But of course, that set me off. I could not find my keys and once I was in my car and had started to pull away, I was afraid that I had left the stove on and actually came back in to check (it was off).
At my friend’s house, he told me a story of a relative who works in a NY public school district. Here in NY, the mask mandate was declared unconstitutional so some schools immediately made masks optional (order stayed for now). She works in an elementary school in one of the districts that rescinded the mandate. She told my friend that one of the kids in her class had come to school wearing an N-95 mask for the first time ever. She had always worn cloth masks before other children’s parents started sending kids to school mask free. The child’s parent has cancer. The family reached out to the school and requested that their child only be seated around other children who were wearing masks. I teared up as he told me this. One of the things that I find myself mourning the most these days is the lack of care for anyone else. I had always thought that despite differences, we were sort of all in this together. But that does not seem to be the case any longer. The “every man for himself” mentality truly wears me down.
So all of this was just hanging on me. When I am laundering at my friend’s house, I try to force myself to ride his Peloton bike. He is super nice about it and encourages me to do it. But honestly, I mostly hate riding it. I have to do rides that include a lot of entertainment. Like DJ rides, where there is an actual DJ along with the instructor. I have to hide how much time is left in the class. And hide the bar at the top that runs through what will be going on during the ride. And usually I can’t wait for it to be over.
I did not want to ride today but Robin Arzon was doing an Encanto ride. Basically a ride set to the songs in the movie. Robin is a lot but I always find her rides to be more inspiring than annoying. I almost did not join the live ride. But then I did. And it was kind of magical. I was into all of the music. I teared up at times (yes, I also relate to Luisa). I sang out loud (We don’t talk about Bruno-no-no-no) and when it was over my first thought was, “it’s over already?”. I came downstairs and told my friend that it was the best ride in the history of the world. And it really changed my mood. A little singing and exercising and a little connection. It made me feel so much better. I wish I could bottle that feeling up and spritz it on myself when I am feeling too much like Luisa.